All of my thoughts

You have misjudged me. Yes, you just snorted in disapproval and one thought ran foremost in your mind, dear reader. " I thought she was cynical and didn't like the dude, she's all talk and no action. " That is true, I did say I was cynical and this man's attitude when we first met had bolstered it, but then, that day with Lanre revealed another side to me I thought I had successfully suppressed. I liked a man to be dominant, a take charge kind of guy and this guy had just blown me out of the water, I found myself helpless, unable to fight all the feelings that were suddenly coursing through me, and so I had gotten into the car. So, dear reader, do you understand now? Do you understand why I seemed indecisive and weak willed? This did cost me a lot as you are soon to find out. Years down the line when I first started seeing a therapist, she said I had had little to no control over my emotions and my emotions had, for the most part, influenced every single decisio...

I was walking down the road that led to the halls of residence when I heard a familiar voice shout 'Suze! ' I rolled my eyes and kept on walking knowing the caller would persist, and I wasn't wrong. 'Suze! Yo, Suze! wait up! ' I groaned inwardly and stopped, making a very quick about-face. 'yes, Lanre, what do you want? ' this time, I added in my head, as I watched him walk up to me, quite briskly. Lanre was a cute guy, swoon worthy and he had the girls in droves, but for some reason, he liked me, hmph, I thought. He smiled and I could see the beautiful teeth and dimples in both cheeks that drove all the girls wild, 'now, now, babe, I been trying to reach you, y'know, you been avoiding me ", he said as he took my hand in his. I rolled my eyes again, did I mention that his entire family lived abroad in the USA and his father had sent him down to Nigeria to teach him a lesson in humility? I couldn't say it was working, since he was expecting ...

My name is Debola Susan Cole, my friends call me Suze. I am a hopeless romantic and given to flights of fancy and endless bouts of daydreaming. I found love at sixteen, lost it at seventeen, found it again at eighteen and I was ecstatic, but then he said it was just a summer fling, three whole months of romance ended because he was going back to the university. I was hurt and resolved to become cynical, I decided to shelf romance and become a real person. I got my head out of the clouds and planted my feet steadily on the ground, after all, true love had eluded me several times, so I wasn't going to pine for it anymore. I lived life quite peacefully, void of any major drama and earthshaking events, until I met him.   I write so you will understand why I made the decisions that I made. I write so you will know how I felt, what I felt and how often I was unable to express what I really felt. I write because this is the only way you will know the truth, the only way you will know wha...